( Photo Credit: John Payne – Facebook )
My last post was February and I’m sure many of you are wondering what the heck is going on. Have I quit? No. Have I fallen off the planet? No! Many of you on my Facebook already know what’s going on but as FB has a bad habit of not showing everything to everyone, I thought it’d be a good idea to blog.
I temporarily suspended my blogging in the middle of last year because I was being bounced around by doctors, trying to find out if I was a candidate for spine surgery. I was told before that I wasn’t but the Neurosurgeon said I was running out of options. So I got poked and prodded with needles, did flex x-rays and all kinds of tests only to be told MAYBE by the surgeon that was going to be cutting me open. My Neurosurgeon who is more like a spine doctor, he doesn’t do surgery anymore said that he felt it wouldn’t help. That even if I let them open me up and do preventative surgery I may not get use of my left foot back and it will only keep things from getting worse. It wouldn’t make me better.
So I thought about it and I asked them to hold off. They looked at me like I was crazy but told me to get back with them in two months. I can’t blame them. I had a herniated L5 disc that was leaning on a serious set of nerves that controls everything from leg strength to the ability to hold my bowel and bladder and here I am telling them to hold off when the EMG showed that the nerves in my back are 90 percent dead.
I sounded like a lunatic. I looked like a lunatic and here’s why. In May I was using a wheelchair to go long distances. They didn’t get me in to see the doctor until June. I was even then trying to huff it long distances with a cane. I was having some discomfort but it was by no means the sciatic nerve pain that plagues my life on a random basis.
So they can’t help me. I had two options. I could feel like crap about it and be a hermit like I had been the last 5 years…
I could take back the part of my life that was missing for so long. Before I was a book blogger, I was a live event photographer. I loved what I did even if I was just a stupid college kid with a camera. Compared to my work now it was crap but I loved doing it. Amber Tamblyn said that poetry feeds her. Photography fed me and with it gone there was just a huge gaping hole in my life.
So I asked my doctor for a walker and I went out and started shooting shows. That was in October. So from wheelchair to walker in five months. Since then I am now walking without anything but my brace for my foot. Doctors can’t explain it but they told me to run with it.
Here I am running with it! Life has never been sweeter for me. I’m overcoming a major road block to take back something that was near and dear to my heart. How many people can say they do two things they love to do? I’ve even gotten picked up by an online magazine!
As far as here goes, I’m still reading! I have tons of content and pictures that I want to post. I will soon. I’m just trying to find a balance here and right now getting my photography portfolio updated was a major priority.
I’m not giving up on either one of these things ever again. I realize now I should have never had to make that choice.
The photo above was taken by John Payne. He’s the special events photographer for 99.7 The Blitz ( WRKZ ) . They’re the big rock station here in Columbus. I have to thank him and the rest of the photographers in the Columbus scene for welcoming me back. It’s been a hell of a battle for me but in it I found a way to do another thing I love and make it work for me.
I am back and I wouldn’t change anything. Not. One. Damn. Thing. 🙂 I kinda feel like John Wick.